Grief at Home and Around the World

Back after a break for mental health and professional development, we discuss a few grieving practices around the world, along with more personal stories.

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Transcript

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Marissa: 0:00

Macabrepedia makes light of dark subject matter and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.

Matthew: 0:15

Death comes for us all, even at our birth, even at our birth, death does not stand aside a little. And every day, he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself, whether that day or the next, he will draw an eye. It is the law of nature and the will of God. Robert bolt, a man for all seasons, it is said that we all die alone, and even when surrounded by loved ones, it is a journey, we must undertake alone. Those who survive us are there to pick up the pieces and learn to live that the grief and void that we leave as our legacy. Every living thing must face death. And regardless of how long you've managed to escape it, you will be taken. It is a rarity for someone to feel that they have had just the right amount of moments when death does come. There is no right or wrong way for coping with loss. And we've developed many different coping mechanisms and funerary practices that in depending on the culture would be abhorrent to other cultures. Regardless of a cultural norm, there is no correct way to grieve or send off a loved one, there is no grief that can truly be compared to another, we all die alone. And for the living, we often grieve alone, as loss is a very, very personal thing. Join us as we add another entry into this, our Macabrepedia.

Marissa: 2:00

Hello, and welcome to Macabrepedia a marriage of true crime and the truly bizarre we are your hosts, Matthew and Marissa. And today we're doing something a little different.

Matthew: 2:09

Yeah, today's entry took a bit of a pivot and kind of threw us off as we'd actually taken a couple of weeks off. Kind of partially because of this and just the weight of reality, you know, kind of taking the place of hobbies. But on Monday, June 20 2022, we kind of had a bit of a change in direction with where we were going with this particular episode, we were thinking about releasing a completely different episode, but because of the situation, I personally kind of personally felt really that this kind of desire to share my experiences, not only with the, the day's events, but there are some very emotional moments, but also to compare and contrast, the funeral that we had just most recently been been to, with some of the others, and some other similar events in the last few years and beyond. Anyways, there was a loss on Marisa side of the family, which in the last two years, the deaths just seem far too frequent common Yeah. And I don't really know exactly what is the more respectful thing to do with this particular loss to give a bunch of details as to the situation or not? Part of me feels that speaking to the details is something of a memorial to the person, but because the void of losses, so still pretty new. It makes it a little bit a little bit tougher. This highlights one of the reasons why we like to pull our entries with 100 plus year buffer. You know, I try to avoid that. Oh, too soon kind of rules. Exactly. Yeah, regardless of the details, I would like to discuss a little bit of the impact that the funeral itself had on me as an individual, while the emotions are still a bit fresh. And I jotted some of the ideas down obviously here. But I also wanted to take that topic and then bring in some other traditions, funeral Roy funerary traditions from around the world that I just kind of find it interesting. It's a little bit less coherent. It's not like a top five list craziest funerary practices or anything like that. But just kind of have a discussion with Marisa. We kind of touched on the this kind of topic on the car ride, which was what seven hours round trip, give or take from the funeral, funeral and back, a few of which, a few of the topics that we touched on that that we're touching on here are also things that we may have touched on in previous entries. as well, but kind of putting them all together in one. One moment that but please keep in mind, this is a heavy topic where we will be sharing a few very personal stories. And if we are I not speaking on your behalf. But if for some reason we offer up some gallows humor or levity at some point throughout this, it's because that's what I do. That's not that's just kind of how some of us deal with pain and tragedy as a coping mechanism. Yeah, so don't don't ask me, hug me. So I don't know what kind of details you want to provide to the last the last funeral. I have my take on it. But I don't know, you decide you can take the lead as to what you want to talk about as far as names and whatever, as far as that goes.

Marissa: 5:55

I mean, I feel like I was close enough for it to really impact me but not close enough to really give details like that. That's kind of where I figured you'd fall on. Yeah, that might be a bit disrespectful. But

Matthew: 6:07

as far as names, I feel like so kind of talk about broad strokes of the situation.

Marissa: 6:13

Yeah, I mean, that was a family member who basically, he wrote, he received a diagnosis. And then he went through the treatment that knocked out his immune system, and he ended up getting a different virus. And that really decimated him

Matthew: 6:31

in the diagnosis was was like a cancer of some sort. And a second bout with cancer. They thought that completely it was gone. It was a different, completely different type of cancer.

Marissa: 6:41

He's fairly young Tori was fairly young.

Matthew: 6:44

Yeah, I mean, he was definitely I mean, by my standards, he was a young, a young man. Yeah, he's in his 40s 44. So

Marissa: 6:53

but yeah, it was it was it's very sad, you know, he was in the hospital for a long time. And he kept going up and down and get updates, they said, Oh, they think they're gonna, you know, take him off his life support that got him on. And then he was,

Matthew: 7:11

I feel like, we got to give a little bit more details just for the sake of the story here. But he was on a ventilator for almost two months, more than two months, he was on a ventilator for more than two months. So the life support that you're referring to is not, it's not like in the movies and stuff like he was coming in and out of consciousness throughout and everything too. So he was very aware of the situation.

Marissa: 7:37

Yeah. And that was very different from my mom's because she was sedated too heavily the entire time. But he was awake from my understanding the entire time, which was quite different. But he was intubated. So there was that, but basically, you know, up and down, thought he was going to get better body wasn't. And you know, eventually the doctors told him, there's nothing we can do. So you have the choice, you can go out yourself, or you can wait a few more days. And he chose to just go out on his own, on his own, which did in fact, give him the opportunity to say goodbye to the people that he loved and held the dearest and so, I mean, that was just, that whole thing is so, so sad. And

Matthew: 8:19

yeah, it's, it's incredible. Because, I mean, it's, it's an opportunity where like, you basically know the moments that that you're going to that are going to be your last, like, you basically get to choose it. And you know what I mean? So I mean, it's, it's, again, he's, it's so incredibly powerful to think like this, this man is like, able to have his family and decide to like, sit there and wait for the people. He wants to be there. And then give the word to like, go ahead and let me die at this point, you know, and

Marissa: 8:54

he sent someone out to get the nurse and

Matthew: 8:56

yeah, yeah, and and they said that because I mean, his lungs were tattered at that at that point. And, but he was able to, like communicate with with those loved ones kind of through touch and gesture and whatnot. all the way till till the very end. And that's just that's just crazy. He had a couple of young adult children. One was still is still a teenager at the point of this recording. And then he had his wife and his, his his living mother and father were both there. And his brother was there and there was like his whole family was right there. Yeah. Which that's all that's all a bit of a setup because of what happens at the funeral that we weren't at this particular going out. Situation actually died. Yeah, we weren't we weren't there at the time of his death. But the at the funeral, classic kind of funeral and And I don't think it's too bold of a statement to say that most funerals that happened in the US follow very similar structure, family meats, they pay last respects sometimes there's like a procession that moves past the deceased, whether that's in a coffin casket urn, etc, etc. Often a representative of the immediate family is like standing there to greet guests as they as they either enter into the building or like at the, at the casket side. Then then the you know, this kind of procession just kind of moves through and then passes around the family. And then people are, there's generally like a view, there's like, you can view the remains, or pictures of the deceased depending on the situation. And after offering their condolences, the family and friends will take a seat, often designated, broken up by family over here, friends over here kind of thing. With the closest family being seated closest to the deceased, a speaker will then generally come forward and lead in a prayer or speak some words of comfort and perhaps read a poem or religious passage, that remembrance or something right and then like a song will generally be played, which turns out the soundtracks can range quite a bit. I will say that you Marisa D did a very good job with with your mom's soundtrack. We even got Rocky Horror Picture Show and nobody would even know that's what's so fun is that like, there are some fun fun nods in there that you know, you know that your mom would really have appreciated and and in that particular thing in that that particular Memorial kind of moment, but if then for those who are I'm not going to play the song here for copyright purposes, but wasn't even

Marissa: 11:58

the Rocky Horror one. I'm coming home.

Matthew: 12:00

I'm coming home coming home, but that's what Yeah. are going home.

Marissa: 12:05

Yeah, I mean, it's it's the song that plays at the end of the movie were frankfurters. Yeah, they they're forcing him to leave and go home basically. Yeah. And been shot too. Yeah, yeah. But my mom loved that movie. And it's like, unexpectedly loved it. Yeah. It's not her norm. And so she that was actually the last movie that I think I played for her on DVD when at her house. And she was just sitting there smiling and laughing and singing along to it and all that. And so yeah, I put a song in

Matthew: 12:38

that. Yeah. And it was it's great, because it's a very it is a very sad moving song. Like, but what if the people in that room realized that it was sung by transvestite Yeah, Transylvanian transvestite, it would have, it would not have gone over as well. But this is a beautiful song in and of itself. But it's also has that layer of comedy there. But those are those little moments. They're at your mom's funeral. We kind of touch on that a little bit. But here, the at this most recent one. It was I mean, it was it was a much heavier. Yeah, it was it was real heavy. Also, I think a lot of that also has to do with the, the open the open casket, it's the open casket, and it was his youth. Yeah. And that was that was the thing that was so incredible to me. Was that there? Well, I'll get to that in a second. So generally, after this procession goes are some songs and whatnot. And then often between the songs people come up, they say a few words here a few memories. In my experience, it's at this time that a lot of people try to bring some fun and celebration and cut the somberness from the part that we witnessed in this most recent one. We didn't there wasn't really nobody spoke except for the preacher or the he knew him know, the master of ceremonies. Yeah, but that was also kind of interesting, too. Because I mean, at your mom's Chris, I mean, knows knew your mom too. But that's, that's true. But this guy, I mean, he seemed to really speak from the heart and he was pretty choked up and everything and it was really it was it was it was really cool ceremony, but it was heavy. At your mom's it was very much more of heaviness that was that had some that was cut through with some some levity on throughout this one was much heavier. And part of it that made it so heavy for me was because he was of the age that he was being in his 40s Both of his parents are there. And his children are there. And you get to see that there's like a middle generation that was lost there, you know, and it was it was it was it was so because I don't I didn't really know that guy. hardly at all. I met him like twice, but I couldn't help myself, I'm just just being pulled into the emotion because I did I do know the other people that are around him a bit. But like watching his mom view that view that and then his wife explain to their kids, you know that it was it was it was the most one of the heaviest funerals that I've ever that I've ever been at.

Marissa: 15:23

We've had a few of these past few years. But I mean, even my mom's wasn't as sad on that level, because I can't speak for them. But it definitely seemed like these people will not recover from this

Matthew: 15:37

right? Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, I mean, I'm we that we did miss out on like, what happened at the actual memorial garden, which we had left we had dipped out earlier from that, but there may have been some speeches there. But it did not seem like there was going to be anybody trying to make any any jokes or anything to try to lighten the mood because it was very tragic. I mean, there was just something there was just something very powerful with this particular one. And then he was ended, he was a he was buried at the same Memorial Garden as pretty much your whole family. So

Marissa: 16:15

yeah, mom's buried there, all my grandparents are buried there, etc, etc.

Matthew: 16:19

But it was very heavy. And, and you and I spoke at your mother's funeral, as did your uncle, her brother, who had shared a wild story of his dad, your grandfather, putting him in a trunk or boot for European listeners. So putting him in the boot of a car, of your mother's car, so he could go and spy on her while she was out with her friends. And he was like six years old or something just to sit in the back of this car. And I hope it wasn't a particularly hot day or well sealed vehicle because

Marissa: 16:53

of it because he was like, I don't know if he was

Matthew: 16:56

panicking or something. And then your friend Mandy, she shared some stories, and also snuck in a few lines from Hamilton, which was also a nod to our wedding, as well

Marissa: 17:06

are we happened one month prior? Well, that was

Matthew: 17:09

part of the reason why it happened one month prior. But then I my uncle Lee's funeral, which we also had. Around that same time, my dad read letters on behalf of some of the family members that were unable to attend the service, which I believe was actually like, I think Uncle Lee's service was like a second service. The prelim the primary, the primary family like his, I think there I think it was held. Like we had ours in Massachusetts, but um, but I assume that there was, there was a certain there was something that happened in Texas as well, because that's where they were actually from. But in Massachusetts, that's where the family reunion happens. And when there was so big get together for that.

Marissa: 17:52

So we could have that. But people can come from all over the country for that.

Matthew: 17:55

Right. But it's but yeah, I mean, sometimes there is a bit of gallows humor that that is allowed at these types of things, but via your mom's was, had a very, me it was very sad. I mean, I was definitely pretty weepy throughout that as well. But it, it felt it just felt so different. I mean, it's hard. It's hard to capture, like I said, in the opening, you know, like, grieving and loss is very personal, it's very unique per individual, because the relationship you had with that person, or that you had with a person that's connected to that person is very, is built off of the events that only you and that person had had, right? So it's very different. And then yours different from that was at my mom's funeral, which I literally cannot remember anything from, other than I stood in front of a room comprised of a bunch of faceless, nameless people who don't remember at all. It may have been it may have even been an empty room. I literally cannot remember hardly anything except for the path that I walked. And if somebody who's listening to this was at that funeral, sorry, I don't remember you. You know, I do not know who was there. I was there. And I tried to speak from the heart and basically stood up in front of the whoever was there and confess that I was a distance distant, selfish asshole. And I was just, I was just useless to my mom, in her time of need. And I don't think we had a soundtrack. I certainly didn't put one together. But yeah, that one,

Marissa: 19:38

there's the beginning of your guilt.

Matthew: 19:41

It's not the beginning. It wasn't it wasn't a peak moment, or possibly a valid 18 at the time. Yeah, but that one I mean, in what's crazy about that, too. All I can actually remember from that, like I remember the church we were in the location of the church we were in It felt so dark. Like in my mind when I tried to recall it. It was like all the lights were off. I don't think that's true. I highly doubt that it was true. But to me, it was at night, like really dark, and everything was dark in there. I remember that I was on the right side facing, like, if you're looking towards the pulpit or whatever, where the preacher is, I was on the right side, and I got up from there. And I said a few words, made NASA myself because of the words that I chose to use, which was, I thought I was being funny. I wasn't I was being I was being uttered. I didn't what what I did was I walked up there. And I don't remember anything else that I said, except for the fact that I said that my mom told me that she didn't think that I would even cry at her funeral. And I was inconsolable at the funeral. And I was I was losing it in front of all these people. And I was like I told I proved her wrong. Because look at me, I'm a wreck, right? And I thought it was gonna come across as funny. But then I was like, that also means that my mom was like, You're a heartless little shit. You're not gonna cry at my funeral? You know? I was like, Oh, you're wrong, mom. Ha. That's not funny, huh? And then And then I remember that was also the first time that I ever when we went home, that was the first time that I realized that Chick fil A had chicken nugget platters. Okay, which was the bright side of the day.

Marissa: 21:37

There's a silver lining.

Matthew: 21:39

That's all I can remember. But anyway, so that's the that's, that's, this should probably be the Patreon episode really. But the but yeah, so any all ways that's there, there's there's different, the structure was still very similar between all of these different funerals. And I don't, and I feel like that's pretty much what happens at all the funerals I've ever been to. You have some people they go, they say their thing. And that's how that's how it goes. And then you know, sometimes if you're going to have the the actual burial, then there's like a procession of cars, that escorts the coffin or whatever, to the burial site. Sometimes they're more words said at the grave site. And if you want more details on on the happenings around the burial, and the decomposition of remains revisit the entry, which with Nicolas White, who has worked in or beside about every aspect of traditional American death industries, or our story on our entry in the body eating itself after death entries, if you need more on that, but anyways, that was a few of the more traditional funeral services that we have personally experienced. My college English teacher, which we may have, we may have touched on a couple times in the past, but he had told me about partaking in a green burial where he and those at the funeral actually carried the linen bound body of their friend to the burial site where they the mourners had also dug the grave by hand themselves. And he assuming that he was used to more traditional burials, I said that it was like the most traumatic experience that he would, he had and would never want to repeat it. Obviously, the loss of a friend is not something that anybody would want to repeat, but I think he meant like the process of like being so connected to death other than not being preserved and having to dig your grave by hand or the old school way. I assume I seem to play more he was more useful, traditional burial

Marissa: 23:58

I guess on a lot of ways we're really aren't that connected to it.

Matthew: 24:01

And that's, it really depends on the culture you're from, right? Yeah.

Marissa: 24:06

But in Western culture, we're not really Yeah, I mean, I watched my mom die but she was still in hospital and then after that, it was just never saw it again. So

Matthew: 24:15

yeah, and well, yeah, cuz she was cremated as was mine, but but I had the option but yeah, but Well, I saw my mom before the actual thing but that's, that's that's a story for another episode. But as far as the when the body is actually dead. The you know, there's a belief of spirits and stuff and an afterlife and all that. And there there are some there's obviously some differences there. I'm kind of I am. I believe that I'm one of those people. That is kind of more out The belief that you're when you're dead, your body is just a hunk of meat. Right? Yeah. But part of the impact of of the most recent funeral was the seeing the coffin close, you know, on this body. And that's, that's the last time that anybody will ever look upon this person. Yeah. And it was very heavy. But in that it was it was kind of strange because you think, Oh, it's just a piece of meat. But then when you're sitting there, it's like, you know, and then why if if, if I really, truly believed that, then why would that seem so impactful? And I'm not sure if it was just because of the empathy that I felt for, for the other people that were there. You know, like, what they may realize is the last time

Marissa: 25:46

most people don't believe that, and it is very important, that body is very important, you know?

Matthew: 25:52

Yeah. And kind of moving on to some of the more unusual, bizarre, bizarre, meaning different not implying judgment, funerary practices from around the world. There are those like the Zoroastrians, and like, the Tibetan Tibetan Buddhists, that do just believe that when you're, that you are a part of nature, and when when your essence is no longer within the body, or within within the capsule, that they that that just becomes something that needs to be given back to the earth effectively. So like Zoroastrians there, they will take the body and they'll just lay it out into the wild somewhere, and let nature take its course. And then there's also a pretty cool one that I think is awesome, which is the Tibetan Sky Burial, where the, they carry the, the deceased to a higher open area. And they will, I'm some of my research, they, they that I saw, they would take, they take the body and they basically break the limbs and then fold it over onto itself. And, and they cut pieces of the body open and, like basically carve it up. And then there's these huge vaulters that will come in, rip the body apart. And it is when I say huge vultures like we have we have like these little buzzards and vultures that we see on the side of the road here in South Carolina. But like these things look like you could use these could these could fly you from Mordor, these things are frickin huge. And they're just because they believe that they just you just feed it back to to nature and the Earth or the the air or whatever. As far as that goes, give it back to to nature. That it's that that is very cool. I think that's an interesting thing. There is some controversy around it on a couple of different fronts, one of which is that it is something that is still is still a viable option for people, Tibetan people, but there's like you can go the reason I know the vultures are so big is because you can see footage of this because it's like a tourist thing. Now they sell tickets to Yeah, and like, and that has spurred some controversy on its own. Like, this is a funeral and they're selling tickets to it. Yeah, to bring people in. And I mean, but at the same time the monks are like, it's just we're just feeding birds, you know, but then you have that, like, it's a philosophical thing. It's humans. Yeah, but they're like, but a human without life is just meat and we're just feeding birds. Yeah. So I mean, it is. I don't know what side you fall on. If I could be eaten by a condor be pretty cool. Side note. They're from years and years ago, and this may have made it in the podcast and an earlier episode. I've I've always been like, it would be so cool to be killed by a pack of dogs. Yeah, you've said that before. But when I was out on a run with a couple of guys the other day or a couple of weeks ago, we saw a deer being chased down by coyotes. Yeah. And I was like, this might be my moment. I'm gonna go gonna go scrap with these coyotes. And, but they were kind of across a creek. I wouldn't have gotten there in time. And I think the deer was gonna make it regardless. But anyways, I want to save the deer and it would have been pretty awesome to fight a pack a pack of coyotes, which I didn't even know they're really random packs like that. But they weren't like just like neighborhoods.

Marissa: 29:42

I actually never seen a pack of coyotes. I've only ever seen lone ones.

Matthew: 29:46

Yeah, I don't I don't know. As far as I don't know if the i I've only ever seen one or two coyotes or one coyote at a time. But this I've also never seen a deer attack by a pack of animals. So I have no idea how As far as how that how that goes down, but I thought that that might be my moment to be to be eaten by dogs. But on a happier note, kinda, there are when there are those people who during their, their, their funerals, they want it to be a celebration of their life or a celebration and not to be as dark and sad and depressing as as many funerals are, they try to get rid of some of the sadness. So to their there's an industry that has kind of popped up from this belief that you should celebrate. So you may have seen the viral video from a few years ago where that takes place. I believe in Ghana, where you can hire professional dancers to dance the coffin to the grave site. If you look, if you look it up, he might also find another kind of McCobb video of a of the rapper, goon new I don't know why I don't know. It's g o n e. W. His funeral was at a nightclub where he had been he'd been shot. And he was an up and coming rapper. And for his final farewell they actually propped him up as is actual court got dressed up propped up on stage. And then they had the concert with him at this nightclub, which I thought was an awesome funerary practice,

Marissa: 31:34

like Weekend at Bernie's.

Matthew: 31:35

Well, they all knew he was dead. I mean, he wasn't. But it was like his final show. It was called the final show. But anyway, you can look that up. Sounds good. But that's a really cool celebration funeral as well. I don't know what the circumstances around. And then I'm, again, we try to keep it 100 year buffer. But I did think that that was an interesting, very interesting tidbit. But as far as going into Ghana, that you can hire, there's a service where you can hire a group of professional pallbearers who will dance with the coffin as they carry it. This is not for any religious reason. This is not a tradition. But it has this it's been available for over like 100 years. But it's not it doesn't come from like any kind of spiritual belief. The idea was that funerals are often really sad. And the people who come to mourn, may forget to celebrate the life of the deceased. So they put the coffin on their shoulders, and they just kind of bust out some fun moves. And we're talking like we're talking like some pretty serious moves to these guys are dancing, they're gyrating, they're changing levels, and they're there. Really, they're, they're good dancers, it's like So You Think You Can Dance but they all have to be holding on to a coffin at the same time. And it's, it's pretty awesome. There's, there's some other dancing funerary practices as well, some of them there, I'm sure I'm gonna say this incorrectly. But the fama D Hana, which is it's a dancing ritual that comes from Madagascar. And it's pretty unique because they, they bury the body after death. And then they dig it up periodically to change its clothes. And to have a party with a when which they dance with the bodies and stuff like that. Now, the, when they take a loved one that they pass it pass the body around to and they basically just treat it like it's a living person for this time, they change his clothes, and they dance and they give it gifts, and they talk to it as if it's just another another day there. And but this is this had caused a spreading of the bubonic plague, which still does crop up periodically, sometimes. But this had because of the disease still being in the bodies, they would be dancing with these bodies and stuff, and it would spread from the corpse to, to the to the living. So it was it's not, it's not a very hygienic funerary practice. Yeah. But the idea is interesting. There's lots of different cultures that do definitely tend towards the celebration of life that can be found in Jamaica, parts of South and Central America. So there are a lot of celebrations of life that are brought into funerary practices. But not all cultures think that the life should be necessarily or that funeral should be a happy event, a celebration something that it's not quite sad enough.

Marissa: 34:57

That's true, and that's when they bring in professionals. Foreigners, or neurologists, I hope I'm saying correctly, but you know us. So they are a thing now. It's actually pretty common in China for people to pay these mourners in advance and bring them in, in great style, to where the funerals going to be the mourners, usually you're trained to be singers, and they'll bring a band along to try to help them you know, back up, whatever. The first step is for them to line up outside and crawl. And while they're doing that, they will say the name of the person with just like just great anguish.

Matthew: 35:33

Yeah, like one one. These people are like, way over the top like they are rolling on the floor wailing. These are performers. Yeah. As a performance is for sure. Yes.

Marissa: 35:44

So this this, this saying the name and great anguish. It's symbolic of daughters running home from their families in an effort to see the body. Hmm. So and then after that a eulogy is performed, and it's usually very loud and dramatic with lots of crying and sobbing and all that and it's also backed up by the band.

Matthew: 36:04

Of course, you need a musical ensemble, of course, and

Marissa: 36:07

this is supposed to make everybody who's in attendance, start crying,

Matthew: 36:12

often does real tear jerker it is.

Marissa: 36:15

One of the common lines that they use is this in this is, quote, why did you leave us so soon? The Earth is covered in a black veil for you, the rivers and streams are crying to tell your story, that of an honest man who sings I shed tears for your children and grandchildren. We're so sorry that we could not keep you here. She croons between sobs. This was the quote, nice. Then the family is told to bow in front of the casket three times. And then a belly dancer comes out and takes the stage.

Matthew: 36:44

Oh, yeah.

Marissa: 36:46

The song picks up, lights flash, and everybody is suddenly happy again.

Matthew: 36:52

See, you go comes back to celebration. All right, get it all out. That's the That's the That's the moral of the story. Come on, let's all just get have a good cry. And then there'll be some there'll be some gyrating that'd be good. Again,

Marissa: 37:05

goal of the professional mourners, the MER ologists is to remind everybody, that the funeral was a very sad place, and there's a lot of pain associated with it. So they also have the job of bringing the mood right back up to, you know, the song and just,

Matthew: 37:19

it almost almost gives them like, like it in a way I feel like that's probably very cathartic, you know, to have somebody come in here and tell you it's, it's, it's the right thing to do. It's, you're supposed to be very sad, like, be sad. Now, don't try to look strong for everybody else. This is licensed to, to just openly weep, and you know,

Marissa: 37:44

get it don't let it you know, consume you be happy now. Don't be sad again. Yeah.

Matthew: 37:49

But I mean, I feel like that's the that is something in a more our western tradition is that a lot of people try to hold it in their choking, choking back tears, you know, they're trying not to and here's just like, No, no, no, no. Let it all out. Let it out. Come on,

Marissa: 38:06

let's bring in the music to try to help that because you know, music can make you feel things sometimes other things can't. But yeah, that's kind of cool. Actually, in the UK, there used to be a company called Renta mortar, where you can rent out a mourner, of course, yeah, they were usually paid between 30 and $120 per funeral

Matthew: 38:26

that I'm saying you do that you market that with that with a little bit of sin eating. Yeah, making bank all tips too. Yeah. Tips, sit and eat some sin, cry a little bit and then very end, pull out a pin Yatta kind of a little, little celebration. Could you imagine if you were not normally of that tradition, and just having that roll up into your into the funeral that you're at, like, you're just sitting there, then all of a sudden someone's just like, oh, might take you back? Who is that? Who is? Man? I've never met this person, but man, really just crushing them. But yeah. But we are going to leave it at that for this week. We're just trying to get back into the swing of things. I do apologize. I guess we apologize for the two week little bit of a break. There have been a few professional reasons. Some changes that my job and, you know, deaths, which shouldn't really stop a podcast about

Marissa: 39:40

McCobb stuff, but you know, it happens different when it happens to you and

Matthew: 39:45

Yeah. And it was you know, there was there was also a lot of travel and everything that goes along with that as well. But the

Marissa: 39:54

just emotional exhaustion Yeah. And

Matthew: 39:57

what regardless of having funeral roles or any actual outside triggering events. I personally just you know sometimes have a crippling anxiety and or depression which makes me completely useless to most of the outside world. So it happens on occasion. I do apologize for that. Not I mean, I don't apologize for having depression, but I do apologize for the interruption in your regularly scheduled programming. We're

Marissa: 40:30

just screaming into the void. It's fine.

Matthew: 40:33

But the but anyways, we do appreciate you coming back here and pick him back up. Hopefully you do. We won't know until until a few days after this, this releases but thank you as always for that and let's leave you with a Macabrepedia.

Marissa: 40:51

Our McCobb minute today comes from Tokyo, Japan. Mu Shizuka meaning amount of insects. Mount for insects, is a shrine to slain insects. This was made in 1921. It's a memorial to the insects killed by Matsuyama Sesay that he actually killed these insects to be used as anatomy models and an illustrated textbook. And he was a Buddhist so he felt very bad about it. Quite the conscience. So this led him to erect the stone shrine the slain insects that you can go visit I thought

Matthew: 41:27

your this was a pile of dead insects. You're gonna say this is like the rubber band ball of Japan just bring their crushed up Beatles be terrible. I kind of want to make it not. I don't want to I don't want to have like I don't want to go kill a ton of insects. Obviously that's not really my speed. Mowing the lawn, once again is a moral issue for me every every week. But it would be pretty awesome to if every time you felt like could you imagine if we just collected all the dead lizards we find and just had like

Marissa: 41:58

a lot of Jas file just the ones that fall off killed.

Matthew: 42:01

Yeah, just just just the ones that are just found. But anyways, I thought that's what that's what I was envisioning. I'm thinking

Marissa: 42:07

like, no, it's just a legit memorials these insects Mount Fuji,

Matthew: 42:11

and then there's a huge pile of crickets that near that whatever I did, that their exoskeletons would have stayed forever. Okay, um, that was my vision. Okay.

Marissa: 42:24

I'm sorry, keep going. No, no, no,

Matthew: 42:27

I'm just saying that was what I was envisioning was a pile of

Marissa: 42:32

crushed, but it's both bodies. Yeah, it's McCobb. But it's also kind of sweet. Oh, yeah. Because he's

Matthew: 42:37

like, this is a good idea. This was a terrible idea. I should not have done this at all. I killed all these little bugs. But that is a that will do it for us this week. As always, thank you very much for listening. If you would like to support what we do here, and help us out a little bit, you can support us over on Patreon at I believe Patreon slash Macabrepedia. I say that just hoping is there there's a there's got to be a link somewhere in the show notes or something along those lines. It always does. Yeah, but the you can go there. It is. Belief still $5 You get access to a couple other extra episodes. And they follow kind of a more similar path to what we have here where it's just kind of us discussing topics and not reading a researched script as much as just talking from the heart.

Marissa: 43:32

It's much more conversational, just conversational.

Matthew: 43:35

Anyways, you're there, check it out at the Patreon you can also reach us on Twitter and Facebook at Macabrepedia.

Marissa: 43:45

We're also on Instagram as always Macabrepediapod and if you would like you can reach out to us at macabrepediapod@gmail.com think we're also on Pinterest and Macabrepedia but anyway

Matthew: 43:59

our social media skills are all over the place or garage. But anyways, reach out we like to to hear from you. We don't we're not we're not getting social media. I'm not very good social media. You

Marissa: 44:13

will scroll through so I do scroll through social media.

Matthew: 44:17

We just don't post we just got great content. Yeah, we're not. We're terrible content creators. Anyways, thank you as always, for listening to this show. And join us next week as we add another entry into this our Macabrepedia